Sunday, January 13, 2013
RIZANA, I am not going to ask because I can imagine ……………………..
How much of suffering you have carried in your heart I am not going ask because I can imagine.
How many sleepless nights you may have spent I am not going to ask because I can imagine.
How did you really feel the day that you experienced that fateful moment that took away your whole breath of life I am not going to ask because I can truly imagine
How did you really face all those moments of questioning you about the life of the infant I am not going to ask because I can imagine. I too can feel and I can imagine.
How did you face all those alone because everyone else was not near you physically your near and dear ones I am not going to question you because I can imagine?
NO I am not going to question the love of the parents of the infant that too I can imagine and feel though I am not a mother.
But I am trying to imagine ‘why they could not think of how many times that you may have died within, why didn’t they try and understand your mind for a moment.
Why did you decided to go find a job in a place where you knew no one I am not going to ask because I can imagine. Let me tell you I too a part of this world so I can imagine.
What went wrong dear little girl I am not going to ask you because that too I can imagine.
Why should I ask you too many questions knowing you have faced enough of them but let me imagine. They questioned you not once, not twice, not hundred times but many, many, many many, many more times I am not going to ask because I can imagine.
Was it just the parents of the child who questioned you, was it just the court the judges who questioned you I am not going to ask I can imagine. Did they understand your innocence I am not going to ask because I can imagine and I understand you.
Do you think that I should go and meet your parents just to share and bear their sorrow NO I am not going to do that because no one could fill the place that you hold in their heart and mind.
I am not going to ask any more questions because the whole world knows enough of all these, what they truly or shall I say never understood is the heart and mind of your loved ones. And they did not understand you either. You were a child at that moment of leaving the ‘you loved place’, forgetting your teen years knowing how others of same age enjoy and feel the world their way. I can imagine.
People can say this and that I know but nothing will bring back you, your parents will not see you again you coming and hugging them, your parents, your loved ones they waited for a heart soothing result an ounce of moment to see their child once again with a happy face but they announced to the whole world and they told it to you and to your parents as well that no point waiting for your daughter anymore I am sure that they have heard their voice in a clear way ‘we wrote the destiny, the fate page of your daughter this way’.
I can imagine, how they faced all these, your parents, why should I add more sufferings to their minds asking about you or thinking of meeting them to write another page or so about you or about the world that gave you this much of suffering etc.
Rizana I am not going to ask because I can imagine ‘ your disaffordabilities for life matters’ during the days you spent your childhood. NO I am not going to do that because nothing will give them relief, I understand.
I do not want to think of such things anymore because I have read and heard enough of ‘laws’ and ‘orders’ from this world that thought you must not live why I should question such a world. But I am not that stupid I know that I should thank the people who really understood you and took a little step to talk on behalf of you, act on behalf of you, who thought about you ‘how you really felt’, how you faced. Let me take a little moment away from this thinking of how you felt and thank everyone who thought that ‘you must live’
Rizana, this too I know little friend,
For some death is a relief I like to think that way.
In a way be happy that you left this world though they had the right to decide it for you.
Be happy because ‘you will not see any more of cruel ways of treating people.
You will not see any more of ‘others suffer for their destined to face sufferings or what ever way you can understand the things of this no end of issues world.
Now you are away from the selfishness of some people, be happy now you will not see how others talk bad of you (this only the idiots do), be happy that you are not any more a member of this world who mostly think we are ‘white in our thoughts’ the world that think they are white in every action they do’ they are white in every step that they take against their own member of society. But they knew how to rate you for what happened the other day.
Forget all these Rizana we may meet again and you may meet the ones who treated you this way or the other ways or every ways ‘may be you will get a chance to see how they live or die by living or dieing. You will get a chance to take a look at this world in few years after or years and years after ‘I can imagine how you will then write your page of life.
I know I like to put a big full stop to this note just because you are away from all the suffering now but here we live and we are watching how this world goes on and on towards their future and how they will treat or take actions here after about their own people of this world.